...which happens often in this day and age, but I needed to start the post somehow.
No number came up on my mobile phone, so it's either someone masking their number or an overseas call. If it was an overseas call, it had to be Saj (who else calls me from overseas? None of you other fuckers, that's for sure).
"Hello?"
"Hey, dude," came the voice on the phone. Sounded familiar.
"Who is this?"
"It's me, dude."
"...XXXX?"
XXXX (censored, for reasons you will soon realize). Some of you may have read about him in one of my posts (in the 'Friends And Foes' category). XXXX, the marine boy. XXXX, the man who made me sneeze spaghetti out of my nose.
Apparently, XXXX had been chosen for the SAS and was about to undergo interrogation training.
"They'll starve me out and stick me in a room where they'll interrogate me. If I answer the questions wrongly I'll fail."
Ok, what's this got to do with me?
"They get info on you, dude. They'll find whatever info about you they can muster and use it against you. So yesterday we were all surfing the net, googling out names. I thought, 'nah, there ain't nothing on me', but then..."
Ah. You found my blog, did you?
"You have a blog? Shit! 'Cos this guy who just did the test, he's got a blog, and they used all that info against him..."
Waitaminute. What site did you find with your name on it?
He told me. Oh, shit.
When I was fifteen I discovered the world wide web. My father had just bought a PC and it had
one whole gigabyte! Compared to my Amiga at the time (which I still reckon is a kick ass computer) this was some super-powered shit. When I hooked up the modem and discovered e-mails and websites and html, I was instantly addicted. Before you knew it, I was making friends across the atlantic (I wonder where they are now) and making websites. Websites like
this.
This (click here if you didn't already notice it was a link) was my very first website, written with the aid of 'beginners guide to HTML", free in some PC magazine. Some of the links don't work, but those that do talk about
a documentary of my friends' first gig that I shot and
my love for filmmaking and the 'films' I'd done so far. A lot of those films involved XXXX over there and they're
very embaressing (which is why I've linked to them. Rather than someone discover it, might as well bring it out in the open and flaunt it to make it seem like it doesn't affect me. Kind of like coming out of the closet. With video proof. Except not).
"Listen to this," said XXXX, "here's a description of one of the films: 'A young teenager falls asleep, thinking of a girl. He dreams...Suddenly, everything is purple and he is in a kitchen, where he drinks a glass of water. As we zoom into the water, we zoom out to reveal running water in a bathroom, the young teenager in the shower and a stuffed toy on the toilet. We suddenly hear grunting noises, followed by a strange white liquid, squirting into shot'. When the
fuck did we do
that film?!"
Oh shit. I did an experimental film as a young and foolish boy. God help me. What little reputation I had amongst my friends as someone who didn't make artsy-fartsy bullshit is now kicked right out the window like an unwanted child.
I told him I couldn't change that site. I had no idea what my password was or anything. But I told him that I'd censor his name in my blog (hence him being referred to as XXXX, brother of xXx. but if you check out the site I've linked to, you can find his real name).
"By the way," I asked, "when are you coming back down to KL?"
"December, probably. Relatves getting married."
"Dude, could you bring back the skateboard I left at your place and my Vans on your way down?"
"...errr. Heheheh... dude," said XXXX between giggles, "I need to talk to you about that... hehehe..."
"
Yes..."
"Oh, damn, is that the time, I gotta go! I'll e-mail you!"
"Motherfucker, what happened to my board?!"
"See ya, dude!"
"Son of a bi..."
"tooooooooooot....."
Fucking bastard. Just for that, I'm not gonna change the previous post about him in the friends and foes section. Or maybe I will, but add the words 'sodomy', 'lactating' and 'badgers' somewhere...
